cracked open by Light

thank you for listening to my manic rumblings although i know it may not make sense, i haven't been making sense for a while now but i'm so happy you seem to understand and i'm so happy that my mind goes completely blank when i'm with you because i'm so tired of the endless chain of thoughts that flood my mind every waking hour so thank you for understanding that i do love life but not the one i'm having but the one i could have thank you for understanding i'm not lost i'm just somewhere i don't want to be even though i'm supposed to but i think that's exactly the point thank you for listening and understanding the bible is the biggest book on earth and it is about me it is about you and me and everyone else but mostly it is about me and i know we just went throught passover and that's me and that means i still have a lot of work to do i need to make sense of the trauma and the pain and the hurt but in the end it all makes sense when i understand that this is about me and my life and the fact that death is the biggest leap of faith and maybe i'm not ready yet but i have faith and soon i will be and i'm so thankful you understand. thank you a thousand times and i hope this isn't goodbye but it's okay if it is because for at least one night i felt seen and that's the most beautiful thing in the world.